Omg. It has been a long time since I have written anything on this blog.
A great deal has transpired since then. In February, I left the teaching job. It was in a sense a way of taking my life back. At the same time, actually the same day, I found out that my mentor, friend, and colleague Margrit, was returning to Switzerland to live out her final days. Wow, what a day!
I found out at 8 a.m. and had to tell my boss at 12 that afternoon that I was giving her 3 weeks to get the staff situated. I had conflicts with family matters, the drive was killing me and I personally was unhappy. That morning I had decided to tell my boss. I had butterflies and felt sick and was determined to get it over with. I made the decision to spill my heart. However, the moment I walked into the school, I was made aware of Margrit's condition. I was upset, partly because I did not get to say goodbye but mainly I felt that I failed her. The woman that I spent the last year and a half with daily was on her last days and there was nothing I could do or say to change that outcome. I also could not stay with the school that was her passion.
I digress. A week prior to this, myself, Margrit, my mother and a few friends had attended a bible study. We had been trying to get Margrit out to be social for months. Some of her other friends had been trying for years. On this occasion, she said yes. we were all so happy. It was so magical. The group shared great conversation and food.
That evening myself, my mother and Margrit had stomach issues. At first, I thought from the food. I missed work that next day and mom stayed in bed. Margrit went to work. She was so determined to be there. I spent that day and subsequent days over a bucket. I was sick for the rest of the week.
Unbeknownst to me, Magrit ended up in ICU the very next day. She had been hiding the fact that she had not really been well for a week. She was barely keeping anything down. She called on a friend that had been helping her for several months. Thank goodness for friends. Our friend stayed with Margrit for several days until she was sent home. Fortunately, two of our collective friends were able to help Margrit get home to Switzerland.
That was February. I left the school three weeks later. I was happy to have the time to spend in my business and with friends. I missed Margrit. I missed the school. My life was more about my business and my dreams.
People say they often think about people that are sick or have passed. I thought of Margrit often after she left for home. I would walk in the woods near the house and think of what she would say. I remembered how we often talked about the healing power of trees, nature, music, art, energy work, and writing. We shared many conversations on diet and how to avoid cancer. Really how an alkali diet is the best defense against many diseases. We talked about death and how she did not want to die a horrible death.
A month before Margrit left, we talked about life and living to the fullest. I do not know how we got on the subject. Margrit told me that I needed to live my life on my terms. She said that if I was to be happy I needed to decide my path. She told me not to do what she did. Not to run away from life or hide. To face it with courage. To get out with friends and family. Most of all to be happy each day. On my walks, after she went home, I went over her words. On several occasions, I sent her pictures of the trees and lakes. I only heard from her once. At this point, she was sleeping most of the time. The doctors had her on morphine and sedated most of the time to keep her comfortable. She was at least with her family.
Monday, May 16 at 8 a.m. Margrit passed away. I found out the following day on my way home. It was something I knew already. I cried for a few minutes. I could almost hear her say "stop crying, there is no reason to cry". I got the spa and stayed in my car to post her passing on Facebook. It was the only way for me to get the word out to all her students of the past. As people responded we cried together and remembered.
I spoke to her closest friend later that afternoon. This friend is also my former boss. She realized that I was aware that Margrit had passed. We remembered together. I smiled after this conversation. I was happy for Margrit. She lived and died on her terms.
The thing she was most unaware of is how she changed lives especially mine. I have heard from so many people that feel the same way. She is the most intelligent woman that I ever met. I miss her. I am happy for her legacy that lives on through all who encountered her in school and business. She is still here within us. We all will pass on her legacy.
