Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Just be in this moment

This morning I woke up to discover that I don't have a voice again.  I was bummed and instantly bored.  I have really done nothing the past few days.  Saturday evening, everything was fine.  I attended a party for work.  I did drink a little more than I have been over the past few months.  I felt a little off and left the party early.  I went to another party and left there as well.  I went home and got in bed.  I was asleep for a few hours when it hit.  Nausea, then vomiting.  I thought the alcohol was the cause originally.  I slept for most of the day.

For those of you that do not know my normal routine for the past three months has been the same.  I am up at 530 or 6 in the morning every day.  Yes, even my off days.  I surf the web, check email and do a workout.  Hey don't judge it is a time I pick.  I am in the shower latest 630 and out the door by 710 on workdays.  If I am off, I am normally walking as soon as the first light hits so I can see the sunrise and the forest wake up.  This is a time when I talk to God.  In the evening on workdays I do the opposite.  I time my walks to watch the sun set.

Anyway, I did not get out of bed until noon Sunday.  I had a horrible headache, my body ached and I was still nauseated.  I thought my throat hurt from the vomiting so I stayed in bed and did very little.  I realized later in the day that my voice was going.  Great that is all I needed.  I got back in the bed took some oils and medication.  I vegged on TV for the rest of the day. 

Monday morning I got up late.  I did not really hear the alarm. (Very unusual for me)  I hurried getting ready for work.  I was sore but in such a rush to make it on time I really did not think.  I hate being late.  I drove as fast as I could and got to work no one was there.  I began to realize at this time that I really felt weak, hot, nauseous, and like I was going to pass out.  I sat there trying to do very little.  I had a test to give, grade and go over.  I thought how bad can that be.  My voice faded again after I began talking with the class. After we went over everything I left.  I came home and got back in bed.  I have been there since.  I finally got up to take a shower this morning.  I tried to go in today no luck.  I have very little voice.

I explain all this to say, I was bored until a hour ago.  I have no reason to be bored.  I have hundreds of books and magazines to read.  I have five blankets to finish. I have to send out cards.  The list goes on and on.  What I have not done enough of is take care of me.  I haven't had a vacation in a year and a half.  All of my trips have been working trips. I really haven't done much for me.  That one day off that I have is normally spent working out, yard work, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping and getting ready for the lesson for Monday's class.  In other words I am always busy.

In this moment, I was given a sign to just be. Relax and listen to Christmas music, watch endless movies, not think about work and reflect. Last night listening to a Lakewood broadcast I was reminded that we all have been given  a purpose.  We cannot fulfill this purpose with a mind or body that is weak.  We have to keep ourselves strong to do what God has for us.  Only then can we be strong in our journey. I want to be strong enough to do as our creator wishes. 

Today I am focusing on just being. Enjoying these days in bed and getting my strength back.  As well as my voice.  It is a moment in time.  Just a small moment. I am grateful for this time. 














No comments:

Post a Comment